Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Saving Private Batakh !!!


The naming biz or say re-christening thing really excites me, off course its non-profitable biz. In last four years (of my professional life) I have seen happiness, despair, hatred, anger and affection all boiling down to one thing- naming the culprit. It’s the naming part that we all love and being named is the most dreadful thing to happen, though sometimes it doesn’t. Mostly, it irritates the person who is called upon with such name.

I know most of you would be thinking…what the heck so much for a name, who cares about it. But, I must tell you, it isn’t as simple as it sounds. We are very careful and meticulous about naming a person. We like to see how it resembles on our friends, colleagues, bosses, nemesis and the ‘character’ in the office (who is nature’s invention but our discovery).

Also, this damn naming thing goes through evolution, on quite similar lines of your professional life. I didn’t realize that how much of it I had already seen until sometime back. Personally, I don’t like naming people after animals; kutte suar and sandh all sound like Chinese new years and their main course dish; and anyways it’s pretty tough to match animals. But last year was kind of exception, I would say.

On usual day, just another brickbat between my colleagues turned into mother of all naming convention/invention (only, according to me) and then came the word “Batakh”. Suddenly they were hurling it on each other; I didn’t know the reason and I also failed to see why!!! Its pretty tough imagining person as batakh, though we have English alter ego of batakh –duck, but I’m not sure if it has the same characteristics as I can fit lameduck on face of our PM but same doesn’t go with “bakakh”. May be because “batakh” is desi and it doesn’t have those English traits. Also, I found it hard to fit batakh on lotsa people (probably my sample size was wrong) and probably I needed to do more clinical testing to find its active ingredient. But, before I could possibly do that one of my colleague left us (I mean organisation!!) and then I was left desolated.

For past three months “batakh” has almost ceased to exist. I didn’t hear anybody hurling it upon other and no character was added to its much needed persona. “Batakh” has become endangered specie and I don’t want it to die due to lack of people’s participation. So you…guys go out and find who can be worthy of being “batakh” in and around you, add character to it and also to the people…make it memorable…. make ‘batakh’ of your day!!(I don’t know what it really means).

So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you……………Batakh!!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Ulta Run at 10K

Running 10k was quite a different experience in Bangalore. I don’t know if it was fault of my company or the sponsor of the run, I got a bag full of chilli powder, pasta and not to mention the most useful item-soap. Probably they thought precipitation and scorching sun will make me use it. I never got it why anyone would like 1kg on his back to run 10k. So, I ran but carried only my little i-pod to minimize the load on my body, I didn’t wanted to look like those wannabes who can’t run without music but probably I looked more like them. Just after completing a kilometer most of the people realised two things, one, that 10 km was big distance and second, the usual Bangalore problem-planning and execution. A lot of people cribbed why it didn’t start a few hours early. Anyways, their anger was cooled down by hurling mineral water bottles on runners. But, so many plastic bottles dismayed all those environmentalists who were running for it. 2km down the run, people started kicking those plastic bottles, though initially I didn’t mind it but when it started hitting me then it really bugged me. What bugged me more was that with every kick on those plastic bottles the whole ‘clean Bangalore’ thing got booted big time.

After 3kms some people realised that they had phones with them, so people got busy with their phones. I overheard one fella, in his slowmo walk, lecturing someone how important this day was for him and how much he was doing for it, I really could see it. Some people started clicking their memorable photos of the event, missed having not brought my phone, but not much longer ‘coz media was there motivate everyone. Whenever and wherever cameras appeared people started running and showing how motivated they were!! A lady even ran in other direction following cameraman, people were busy asking which tv channel was covering them; some even called up their family that they were LIVE on a channel. After realising how entertaining run was, a few kms through the run I also realised how it brought people together. While running, we asked each other how many kms had passed by, then suddenly other two persons realised that they were from Microsoft and Yahoo. I saw rivalry fading into friendship; they even started discussing their work. I never realised the potential of networking in such places. I didn’t know how many from our HR team were running, but came to know that head hunting sure has immense potential in these runs. I even tried finding someone from same industry but unfortunately there were none in the sight, I could only sulk.

My best part of run came when we entered Cubbon Park; there was a group of cheerleaders cheering the runners. But runners noticed them only when their ‘HUHAA HUHAA’ was reciprocated by barking dogs!! Laughter came out inadvertently. Well I took that moment to thank all the dogs; afterall this city has gone to dogs. Just a week earlier I had to take their permission for running in early morning or even late night. I walked 3kms to be identify by dogs of my area on first day, else I would have ran that 10k on last Monday itself. I thanked them for their grateful gesture.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Anniversary Special !

A week back, a year had passed by and I almost didn’t notice it. Though, I remembered it and everyone did remind it was my first marriage anniversary. Good thing that a year of married life passes away and you don’t feel it, probably don’t have marriage blues in the beginning. The week coincided with three of my friends getting ready marriage and they all asked me how I felt like and what my experience was.


Though I could hardly recollect (see the impact, man) but I tried for them. I realized that by the time you get married, you are so molded in your personality that its hard to adjust. It is even more difficult to adjust to traits of other persona or even make other adjust to your personality. And that too for everyday, I think it is quite a mission impossible task. If your habits match then it is good as it is duplication of activities (as said in our biz lingo). But if your habits are different then it is mostly fun, sometimes its weird and sometimes its fight. When it is fight, it is really tough. Because, when you are newly married then it is really difficult to fight, I mean REALLY difficult ‘coz you are really not sure if you should argue!! If you can then you don’t know how long and how far you can take it. If you do indulge in fight with a friend then you can go and make up with your friends after a week but that time you don’t have in marriage because by that time damage is already done. To undo that damage you have to damage something else- your money. That why for whole year I have been trying to preempt such situation; me and my wife have been practicing and hurling those filmi punches (and we never forget to add that background), so if we are angry we make it look really REAL. I must tell you that I still don’t experience in facing assault of all kinds of kitchenware, so can’t tell you how you can defend. In all, you may forget anything but you remember what time of night you have to reach your home. And, yeah what’s case of hair loss, I still can’t make a right guess, if its Bangalore water or marriage taking toll of my precious hairs. Sure, would like to believe its water.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Mysoaru Infy


I remember how my friend looked down towards company like Infosys, “now even infy is calling for interview. Probably it was IITans arrogance towards desi ITservice company or may be they all think that they also can create Infy like company. Whatever may be the love and hate case for our desi IT companies but I realized how much Infy is valued by the people (especially by the parents of employees) when I stood in the line to enter its Mysore campus.

The scene at the campus gate is almost what you see on railway tracks. The only difference there was that the first class ac, second class and general passengers all stood in one line (this is quite an achievement for a company if it can bring people from different classes to do new kind of slavery). And, you can look from the parents’ face- their kids had made it. Well, the jaws fell when everyone entered the campus and shutterbug almost automatically started clicking. One can see the amazement on the faces; probably no one had expected this inside India or people just thought they were in some foreign country (as it was clean and gardens were not identical to public parks) with a English speaking personal tour guide who happened to be your family member and also infy’s new breed of mouth publicity campaigner. I was very much impressed with infy’s campus and why shouldn’t I!, after all if you combine office space with residential college plus malls + theater, resort + sports complex and not to mention gardens, probably it’s the one of its kind in India.


And you can see the impact on junta that Littered all over Mysore was bothered about pushing cans into dustbin. For parents, 3star hostel facility definitely signaled that their kids have arrived. Every parent was more than happy to be in foreign like locale so what if they didn’t go to any foreign country but were sure their kids will definitely do it afterall its considered a part of package. For those staying in campus it’s different, it’s the anticipation of joining the new age assembly line (which most of experienced persons in this field hate it). This always reminds me of Pink Floyd video of kids in mask moving seamlessly in a system. I hope infy’s learning center comes out with some solution to this modern day slavery in quest for everything 24/7 as everyone’s life has become busy despite all this automation as its men who become critical in all these automated operations thus becoming more miserable with more hi-tech. As for Mysore I liked it more as a sleepy town than anything else but I know it won’t remain that way afterall companies with graveyard shift have already started erecting offices and they aren’t sparing graveyards either.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

RAMA Needs Birth Certificate Now!!

Just a few weeks back India discovered its own foot and mouth disease, where it was one’s mouth and someone else’s foot. So, ASI guys were asked a simple question if RAMSETHU was natural or manmade? Being hard thinkers and hardly working they thought the easy way out - why find out the root cause when you can actually uproot it! So they came out when Rama didn’t exist so what was the need to prove anything about Ramsethu! In a country where so many departments equipped with all resources and evidence can’t crack a simple case - our ASI chaps concluded that pre-medieval God didn’t exist, woha!!

But that was not enough, so Mr Karunanidhi thought he can help it out, so he added Rama’s technical know-how to the simmering question.

Oh, so now Rama needs birth certificate and other documents to prove his existence and his capability. In our country where history and knowledge was long recorded and protected (also for selfish means) in human memory and not in documents it’s stupid to only look out for documentary evidence. So, documents may not reveal everything every time. Yeah, we really need to document everything to make a proof but can we just rely only on them especially for unwritten history. In a country like ours where anyone and everyone can get such certificate, not to forget the media reports of fake Indian voters ID (with photographs) made in the name of Osama and Musharraf. So forty years down the line Karunanidhi family can go on to make claims about Osama and Musharraf being Indian and holy warriors!! Who knows that might be possible.

Now tell me why Rama needs civil engineering degree for Ramasethu. In a fully democratic country like India, where most of the politicians have got some nook or the corner named after them without any contribution and when Manmohan Singh can become PM without fighting elections, why Rama needs to build Ramasethu himself? Like a common man and globally known business practice, Rama would also have subcontracted Ramasethu work to others!!! Afterall Chennai didn’t become Outsourcing hub just like that, hehehe!!

Such stupid comments by Mr Karunanidhi were not enough for himself. He goes on to say that Valmiki commented that Rama was drunkard. I say so what!!! So many of Hindu Gods used to drink, what does he exactly wants to say? Please complete the sentence, man. What’s even more stupid is that for Karunanidhi Rama never existed but Valmiki from same era existed and why because our dear Karunanidhi found his membership card of “Tamilnadu Writers Association”. Hahaha, bang on Mr Karunanidhi, we really need your logic.

The same Karunanidhi who uses his atheisms to mount attack on Rama goes on to ban “Da Vinci Code”, a movie with some theory on Christ for hurting Christian sentiment. Wow, so much for our secularism, you can bash up anything native. And add to it, our government also teaches us one theory – AIT (Arayan Invasion Theory) as the only theory and that too by dropping the word “theory” from it so most of the people can’t even think that there can also be several other theories on same subject. This same theory is used by him for his divisive politics.

Well you might be thinking that I’m just trying to defend Rama, but do I really need to protect him against a man who himself doesn’t have any social, moral or ethical credential worth mentioning. The man who practices bigamy (against law of the land and can’t admit legally) and who lies to protect his murderer son from killings of innocent civilians or I may say “Innocent Dravidians” talks about Rama’s lies. The same man who pulls down sari of ex-CM in legislature thinks he can take moral high stand against Rama?!! Give me a break. He is not the right person to challenge Rama. But do you really think morally and ethically bankrupt person like him is worth listening? May be to some, especially those who are insecure about their own identity and in need of “Tamil Idol” without realising that their biggest demi-gods MGR and Rajnikanth are non-tamil identities. Will Karunanidhi dare question them?? Can they even dare tear posters of those two demi-gods?

Saturday, July 07, 2007

New Seven Wonders – the Marketing Farce

Just a fortnight back I discovered that the whole world was rushing to elect the “new seven wonders” of the world. Media frenzy had heightened and everyone in India was busy covering it. Every TV channel wanted SMS to be sent to it or voting to be done through its website. Someone painted Taj on his body and someone was sporting Taj haircut. A few companies even started media campaigns and then Taj songs started appearing on the television. Finally, when mails started pouring in my inbox, I knew it was my time to make my contribution.

So I searched the site and then started looking for the information. Out of curiosity I wanted to know who the organisers were. I was expecting UNESCO or some other reputed organisation but to my astonishment it turned out to be some vague outfit – NOWC( New Open World Corporation). A corporation!!! I was stunned, and then I tried looking for more info on this organiser, after all why the hell was it interested in declaring seven wonders. Belonging to a country where more or less everything is regulated, you are tuned to only some with authority organising such events. I know most people are gonna to object my thought, why we always look for authority, why can’t anyone on his/her own organise such event. Well, I agree with it, but can we be dragged into all such activity by anyone and everyone. Can anyone just come and say “hey this is best !” sure they can, after all we can find numerous media house that come out with top 100 on everything from business houses to people. Do we give damn? Nah…

So what’s the credibility of the organisation that nobody heard of and nobody knows what kind of contribution it will make to those architectural wonders.

If you check the website they tell you the purpose of having seven new wonders is to revive the concept of architectural wonders and start a new concept of people selecting their wonders rather than experts. So, its not experts deciding but people making their choice. But is it actually people’s choice? Since you can vote only through cellphone and internet, you know how many people in Africa, S America and Asia will be able to vote, so it will be partial. And with everyone propagating their national wonders, you can make out which are going to winners.

What’s more its website talk about “selling official license” on products and services related to new7wonders. Now you will think it will come down to “Guinness book of world records”, actually its worse. n7w sells its mobile voting rights to mobile operator like ‘Airtel’ in India and guess what - Airtel mints money in name of Taj. Similarly websites increase their number of hits through voting. That’s not all, n7w will make toys claiming its rights and even worse travel services and retail concepts based on n7w, so in future you cant even open ‘seven wonders’ theme shops without their permission. They walk away with all money even without putting a penny or having to do with those architectural wonders, there isn’t any mention of the organisation talking of preserving such wonders, but that won’t stop it fooling around with all of us.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

SecondLife: New Wave, My Predictions

More than three years back, someone started a virtual life community, SecondLife, where anyone can create his/her virtual persona/character and it develops a community. Soon I forgot about it, but it didn’t end there. A few months back, one of my friend came and told me how much he loved Secondlife and how it had evolved - you can buy a piece of virtual land, so many companies had opened virtual stores and virtual shoes, cloths could be bought for your virtual life; they even started their own currency. He loved it so much and had become addicted to it. This was frustrating to me, why the hell people were spending so much time to make themselves up in virtual life? What gratification they got doing by wasting time in creating virtual characters and dressing them up.

It was freaky to find so many young people indulging in it and mostly Americans; I lost no time in terming them as childish and the ones who were more hooked to the virtual life than the real one. Anyways, even that didn’t put the issue to the rest. Few days earlier I saw a report - some hotshot from IBM was telling that they had developed a system wherein people can send sms to virtual characters and users could also transmit the sms to people using their virtual life characters, and added that this would set stage for next level evolution of communication in virtual and real world.

Well, when I thought this fad would die its natural death, it came back and probably it may grow even bigger this time. Then I started thinking what else it could evolve to? So, here is my take on what this virtual world can evolve to! People would surely enjoy reading and sending sms for time being through Secondlife though such effort may not last but who knows it may evolve to mms video massages of SecondLife characters speaking to you. If something like that happens I bet it would be a big hit, people would love watching animated videos of their characters. I guess most of people would be sending weird and freaky massages, specially the times when people are angry with someone.

But what if SecondLife also becomes an alternative to e-cards and people start wishing each other through their characters (specially those valentine ones, guys would get a better tool to purpose- really hidden virtually visible), I think that will nail e-cards business out of business. If something like that ever happens it won’t be limited to a few such offerings. If people become so hooked to sms on SecondLife then they might also like reading their massages on SecondLife with each character reading out the massage, what if you open your mail and your boss says “you are promoted”, I believe such stuff would be a real rage and it would pose serious challenges to e-mail providers like yahoo or hotmail.

Such developments may lead to a lot of such companies starting up their own virtual life portals to protect their market. I know most of you people now will not believe if I say all the social network sites may start using virtual life characters to make it more exciting or SecondLife itself may become social network site like Orkut where every user would have animated character and can talk to other, I know its kind of weird but it may have a future prospect. Then the real and virtual life would get immersed(or, shall I say, messed up) in each and there would be a thin line to differentiate.

But this is not all, my biggest out of the world idea is, if companies start verifying virtual characters just like the online signature and then you can shop online in real life using your virtual life character, man that would be massive, it will blow everyone’s mind. I know most of you reading this may feel like banging their head on wall but what if it really happens, I know most of it wont happen any soon but probably some will in next few years.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Train to Nowhere

On my trip back to Hyderabad, a man came and asked me if anyone was sitting on the opposite seat, hearing “no” he sat down. He enquired when train would reach Hyderabad as he was taking kids to enroll them in a madarsa at Hyderabad. My radars caught those words, I had a look, a look seeking lots of answers. Just a few days back media was splashing mews of poor socio-economic condition of muslims in the country and once again the popular (and politically beneficial solutions like reservations were sought). I had lotsa questions for this man, but despite knowing that almost none of madarsas did not provide for any certification exams, I asked him so they have any provision for SSC or HSC exams, thought it would probably make him realise where he was heading kids to!!!
He plainly said NO, even those which let students to appear privately or open school, fair miserably coz students were never prepared for it.

I further asked “How they compete, don’t they feel lagged behind?”
He replied awkwardly “its Religious education”. Then TTE came and made perfect interruption. Later that man got busy with his religious thread.

I felt loss of chance to ask him and convince him to better take kids to some other school. After all how many madarsas and students do we actually need to keep religious knowledge alive? Do we actually need these students to pile up over existing levels of Maulvis?
Will madarsas ever produce best architects, Sufis, poets, scientists and industrialist. Isn’t all this is required by so called muslim world. How come getting away from it, will do well for them.

Few weeks back, I saw a talk show; it had around 50 muslims comprising audience to discuss their financial condition. It was hard to believe that only 1 in 50 had life insurance, none had medical insurance, almost none of them wanted to take loan for any purpose and some even felt bad at interest being credited to their account on their on savings. Now, tell me what exactly government should be doing? Doling out financial incentives, provide for reservations or simply try to change their perspective and economically integrate them. I know what most of you exactly think that government would do !!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Makes you CRANK



Crank. This is the movie that I watched last weekend. Its one of those super stylish slick flicks that gets you hooked.

The movie creates a new genre in film making. This movie tries to mix videogame visuals into the movie and you will be surprised that it succeeds; in fact it delivers beyond anybody’s expectation. Crank also adds some other elements of action oriented videogames; it is fast faced, violent with some amount of blood shed, good action sequence, nudity (more or less compulsive these days) and non-stop.

After Wachoski brothers brought comics strip style action scenes into movies, Crank brings a new style of cinematography. From the scene one the movie runs like a videogame. The camera work is totally what you see in new age 3-D videogames, it follows the hero from different camera angles. Combine it with slick editing and fast pace camera work, you get the mind blowing action treat. Like all videogames it too has incredible but not death defying stunts.

Plot is simple our hero, Jason statham, the Transporter movie guy (known for no brain all brawn kick-ass stuff), plays the assassin, poisoned by his rival. He has one hour and needs antidote. So he runs for his life and thus trail begins. Needless to say to you should look for logic here, coz that guy does lotsa stuff to keep him alive- getting electric shock, half nakedly standing on bike, driving car on escalator and much more, believe me I’m not telling the most interesting parts.

I bet when this movie will end, you will count it as cult classic.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Gandhi versus Bhagat Singh: Guns and Roses for Oscars

Now that both Lage Raho MunnaBhai and Rang de Basanti are vying for Oscars. They are up against each other again. Who will win this time?

Historians have fought who should be taught more in schools. Almost all non-pro-gandhians were thin lined in the books and their contribution/relevance limited to a paragraph (and for Mahatma they used 1.5 line spacing on word file, hahaha!!; this used to be my trick in mba days). I remember the school days when guys used to voraciously used the defend Gandhi and Bhagat Singh against each other. As their means to end were different actually poles apart, those arguments used to get polarised.

Coming back to the movies, both the movies have been extremely liked by the junta of our country who are terribly confused the condition of this country and looking for solutions. Both the movies lead in to this direction (solution). RDB has Bhagat Singh in backdrop while Lage Raho has Gandhi in focus. Now question is who will make it? Which movie Americans will identfy with?

Well, Gandhi is a well know figure (1 Oscar old!). And this time he is giving not only NON-VIOLENT solutions for political system but also PEACEFUL solutions to all personal and social problems. Devoid of all negatives, he is likeable as usual, probably more for the American souls, who are in desperate need of peaceful solutions to the mess created by them at home and abroad.
On the other hand, RDB has revolutionaries guiding the youth to take matters into their hands and try to find solutions, which turn out to be VIOLENT. The movie tries to put youth on dock and solutions they can look up to, violent or not? It leaves youth to debate decide. I don’t know how much Americans will identify with RBD and the measures taken by the youth in the movie. I don’t know if the Americans, already tired of domestic violence and killings in the society will really look up to RDB, will they really approve of killing their own politicians, I mean can anyone imagine Americans ever approve murder of Mr.Bush.
I think not, they would rather rally around their leaders no matter how corrupt they are. Thanks to Bush’s biblical statement of Us or Them, all the violent means have been dubbed as Terrorism by Americans for their convenience. So, will Americans ever vote for terrorist actions??
I really don’t know which one they will choose? Will RDB dance all the way or will it be Cheers for Gandhi (with dry glasses!); or will they neglect both?

Monday, September 25, 2006

My Corporate Pickup Line

“I am available.”

How this will sound to you if someone says it to you?
What exactly would you infer from it? Will you slap the person or laugh at it?

Well, this statement is actually our corporate jargon that means availability of resource for assignment. This is the first thing that most of the people in my division say in the Monday morning meeting, yeah it doesn’t get them really HOT date of choice but may add to your Monday morning trauma.

Though I have never dared to say it in outside world, but if you are a guy and you happened to make this statement unfortunately, this would perhaps be considered as one of the worst PICKUP lines ever used!!

It may never become a hit pickup line to get girls but in our division it is more used as seduction tool to get the exciting piece of work. Everyone makes a point to stand out when they say “I’m available”, so, the manager can see the passion (which may be very dim on Monday morning) in your eyes and may assign it to you (though it doesn’t happen).

Just imagine different people in your division saying it and that too in different styles. Try out people and see what it does to you? Post Austinpowers movie on Sunday, every time I hear people saying “I’m Available”,
Yeah babeeh!! I see Austin whispering into my ears – “Corporate Slut Babeeh”

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Men will be Men

It was 8 in the night on Wednesday, 23 and I had crossed the main road after coming out of my office and was waiting for auto rickshaw. There were men and women waiting for the rick too, but I was in hurry. A shared rickshaw came, a man was already sitting. I asked the lady lady if she wanted to get in. she nodded “NO”, I got in. not loosing a moment another guy got in and then we looked at the lady and realized how mean we are, so both the guys (not me) got down and then sat aside the driver, I shifted to right corner of the seat, and then we again looked at the lady but she didn’t respond and seemed not interested in taking the rick. The guy on the left side of driver quickly jumped back to his seat and then another guy rushed to grab the last place. Auto was filled in with men and then it moved. I was in too busy to understand why that lady didn’t get into the rickshaw; I was looking for the restaurant where I had to get down to attend my roomie’s birthday party.

I reached the place and met my roomie and his friends, there was one, yeah a single, and I mean both - one and single, gal in the entire gamut of guys. The place was restaurant cum bar, so guys quickly got involved what they wanted – alcohol. Smoke and booze created all together different atmosphere for guys. Sometime later guys asked this gal IF she was feeling out of place (every one had to ask for the sake of it, like we didn’t know). What gal could answer?

At that point of time it struck me why that LADY didn’t get into rickshaw. The LADY didn’t want to seat herself in middle of the seat (probably thought of getting harassed), so, she declined it first when I offered her and then we didn’t leave her any option. Even after we made adjustment it was thoughtless concern for a woman. It never concurred to me that women have to tackle so many issues for almost everything they do. I don’t know if any men ever thought how it would be if they always have to protect themselves from getting harassed anywhere. Men don’t have to be bothered in man’s world, though they may show concern about other half but always forget to be thoughtful about it.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Independence Day for a Lousy Guy

It was aug15, I woke at 9am and switched on my tv, flag was hoisted and speech was delivered. I saw all that and speech of our Weakest Prime Minister who told us how strong the citizens are, braving all the govt.’s apathy and calamities. Then I switched to the patriotic songs for some time, even that didn’t last long. There was no flag hoisting in my apartment (there is no provision and nobody thought of it). I was left with nothing to do for a day that seemed endless. My roomie woke up and suggested we go out. I panicked, after all there was threat on my life and on everyone else, and who wants to become Shahid on that day, but we ventured out as my roomie hates crowded place.

So, we ended up at a shopping mall which was luckily empty (coz of terrorist threat). I thought, this was the opportunity to do something for nation’s economy – buy something and make it strong (that’s all this generation does in the masquerading for self consumption) - there were discounts and I could have bought something but then I heard something.(No, not sound of a bomb blast). This mall was playing patriotic songs, I wondered why? But after listening “takat watan ki hamse hai” (have you ever heard it?), manoj kumar & sunil dutt patriotic songs, I was finally nailed by “aiye mere watan ke logon”. I didn’t know what happened but I just didn’t buy anything though my roomie asked me several times. Then I realised something!

I don’t know how many people have ever noticed the difference in the way a person’s perception and meaning of days like Independence Day (or national days) change. But I thought about it this time, though I used to remember how it used to be in childhood. I remember that when there used to be holiday on ID, it was celebrated in our housing colony.

I never realised the fact that I used to take bath to go to flag hoisting ceremony. I mean, it’s only RELIGIOUS Festivals when you take bath to purify yourself to go for a ceremony. Our INDEPENDENCE DAY had such significance that it was considered inappropriate to go for flag hoisting without bathing. I mean, mathematically INDEPENDECE DAY = RELIGIOUS FESTIVAL!!!
And you are not worth it if you didn’t do it properly. In those days, I would wake up early and get ready to make sure that I don’t miss the ceremony and specially those Jalebi and Samosas. Yeah, but that was not the only thing, I never understood the rationale why kids used to keep running for hours with national flag in their hands, but who cared, even I used to run. Watching parade on TV was a family affair (tv was new those days and there was hardly anything to watch).

But when such celebrations became compulsory in school, I had to do little more than the usual to get those Samosas, sometimes parade, and sometimes cultural program. But that running with flag thing went off though I used to catch up with the Independence Day celebrations around the country on TV. One thing that added up to my list was the “Gandhi” movie, which was broadcasted every year, no matter how it bored me - I still used to watch it. By the time I was in college I lost some passion about Independence Day, I would wake up but only watch the ceremony on tv (bathing and preparing was gone), only exception was MBA days when I did go to flag hoisting like my school days.

Now that I’m working, I do watch the whole Independence Day coverage and the remixed desh bhakti songs on it, but hardly care about going to flag hoisting or even putting effort for that( may be some day I would do that again). I seldom realise how less we care and value our independence - take everything for granted. Faith is probably still alive within coz I still put that tiny flag on my shirt.

Monday, August 14, 2006

SMART Work and FART Work

Though its just two years into professional life but I have heard this noise SMART work at almost all levels of organization. Some one from top level management giving ‘BHAASAN’ on it to your team lead, there is just no end to this funda, you see.

You will realise that smart work is actually not ‘TOP NOTCH’ work or the best quality of work ever done!!! (Yeah man, this will happen when you self actualize.) Smart work is just managing the outcome which will satisfy the client most. It is shallow and doesn’t have much depth, of good work, but can hold and superficially looks better than most of the outcome in same line of work. It is delivering just what is required without actually fulfilling most of requirements. Smart work something that successfully deviates client/user from the original concern but make him feel that it concerns have been met. Since everyone gotta save his ass but that doesn’t happen all the time, so smart work comes in. what people don’t realise when they ask for smart work. What people don’t realise is the kind of work person has to do to smart work.

I think there are just two types; I call it Good work or Fart work.

You see, good work, when people get the kind of work they desired in the life or the kind of work that really use the potentials of a worker and helps in his/her development. Now, this kind of work is actually hard to get. In fact, I believe that most of the people actually don’t get it and they just dream for that day when they will have what they wanted. So, I won’t waste much time on it.

Then

There is FART work. Yeah.

You know when you eat something and your stomach doesn’t take it well then you fart. This happens with the work also. You don’t get the good work but you are asked to make it good. The work that disserved to be dumped sees the daylight of your desktop. There is nothing that can come out good from that work but since someone in the system has to do it, so it is thrown at you. You don’t like that kind of work and it upsets you sometimes. You don’t feel good about the work and then it start creating trouble in your professional life, makes it stinky. You take some help (kind of medication) manage the work and come out with smart work. But in long run every thing stops working for you and fart works sucks everthing "Fresh" out of your life and the stink of your life becomes visible in your language especially how you describe your work. The more you are force to do fart work, more helpless the situation becomes.

You just end up hating your work.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

India Shining

Yesterday morning my milkman knocked the door for his payment. Before I could say anything further, he asked me ‘sir, which one is better – computer science or electronics and telecomm?’ I asked why to which he replied that her daughter has applied for admission. I said both were good but the milkman had probably made up his mind, he wanted to stick to EVERGREEN career options like Computers. I really loved talking to the milkman coz it’s not everyday that I get to see milkmen who want to educate their children with tech/professional education that too a daughter not a son. It really makes you feel great in the morning that your country is progressing so well.

My milkman is not the lone case. Newspaper vendor at my Mumbai home is auditor in an automobile retail company and he travels all over the country to audit its branches. I remember, five years back he used to come on cycle now he has bike and he seldom comes to collect his payment. I really want people like these to move forward in life coz then only we will fully develop. I really want people to all aspect of professional life but I know it too tough to dream that an Indian father will ask, ‘which is good rockumentary making or film making?’ I will wait for that day.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Mid-night Pidhu and Hero Hiralal


Since Thursday nites infuse much of weekend enthusiasm, its pretty difficult to discard mutations of couch potatoe and sleep early, as its just matter of day’s work (Friday). So I was, with my roomie, who still live upto their hostel days, late night tv and games; actually they got flexible time and they go office when its mid-day. As usual there was nothing worthwhile, but we were waiting for one filler “Pidhu da gre8”, it’s a spoof character and cyrus’ voice matches charaches (Punjabi with dikra accent). Though not as creative as ‘Simpu’ of channel v, but it surprises u sometimes and specially when you are bored and there nothing on tv at midnight. Alas, this time it was rerun, since my roomie had already seen quite a few episodes he realised it, anyways after a song it was over.

When flipped channels, caught one channel playing this movie ‘Hero Hiralal’. Its one late 80s flicks of bollywood where lover is ready to give up his life for love and such flicks are rarely made these days. I watched it mid night and I tell you the reasons why you should watch this movie:

It has those old hindi movie concepts of ‘Ameer ka pyaar aur Garib ka pyaar’( rich man’s love and poor man’s love). You don’t seen such kind of flicks as no one makes it these days, only NRI flicks for a billion junta who haven’t been outside.

Garib ka pyaar prevails and wins over the capitalists. Yeah, these days this doesn’t happen as everyone is realistic.

Extreme side of love- deadly sacrifices and suicide !!! Which hero does that these days? They only make effort for extra marital affairs or one night stand.

Movie has one of my favorite dialogue “Phata poster nikla HERO!”

Well, a portion of movie is shot in Hyderabad, where I’m living now. And I guess the place where it has been shot resembles ‘Hi-Tec City’, where I work (yeah I getting personal now) it once was rocky and empty space.

For record, Hyderabad ricks and specially rickshawala looks good, this can happen only in movie.

Lastly, this genre of movie has become extinct now, that’s why you should watch. I bet you are mostly likely to sympathise with Garib ka pyaar, as most of middle class dude do.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Sad but True

Mumbai 7/11: Resilience, Apathy and Myopic Concerns


Man, Mumbai’s bomb blast made each of us angry. Why can’t we stop such acts happening again and again? Mumbai’s 7/11 could have been averted if the police and intelligence people hadn’t failed to crack the arms seizure. Those guys just claimed the success and forgot every thing. I don’t know why police and government have such adhoc concern towards terrorism when the whole country is suffering from it. What saddens me is that I heard at least filmi guys taking local trains next day to show support to the common man but not about any MP or MLAs.

Resilience and Courage
I remember the last year july26 rainfall, when the mumbaikars showed their resilience, their camaraderie and their binding for the city and its people by giving helping hand, when needed the most. Rich, poor, labourers, students and every one on the street, took care of unknown, showing directions, distributing food and whatever one could do. Those gestures touched every one in the city, but I also had a few colleagues ( from delhi) who though had witnessed the wrath but were adamant that only poor people come to help as they don’t have much to loose. Now a year later, when the blasts occurred in Mumbai on 7/11, mumbaikars showed their courage and resilience once again and came out in full support for fellow mumbaikar at time that counted most. This time my new colleagues from delhi were flattered at the courage of mumbaikars. One of them said “people talk and communicate a lot in delhi, but nothing like this happens in such kind of situation”. I loved everyone’s appreciation for the people of Mumbai and was smirking at those Raspberry people who maligned the city by awarding ‘the rudest city in the world’; those guys will always remember courage and camaraderiship of mumbiakars as sh*t on their face.

Normalcy- need or compulsion
Everyone asks how come Mumbai gets back normal so early; well, there are several raison d'ĂȘtre to it. Mumbai is the business hub and the financial capital of the nation. It generates billions of rupees and dollars of business every day. If Mumbai is shut down for one working day, it leads to loss of billions of rupees which both the government and corporates don’t want to loose. Mumbai’s economic strength has become its compulsion, the compulsion to continue no matter what happens. But there is another aspect too. Mumbai may look glamorous and rich to outsiders but in reality is made largely of labourers who contribute to the mumbai’s economic strength. Earning livelihood is a compulsion for such people and it is this compulsion which forces people to return back normal so soon. It this economic strength that terrorist like to target and it’s the need for normalcy that politicians take for granted.

Myopic Concerns
News channels can never stop amusing you even if it is a moment of grave concern. They gotta do something to make you bang your face on the wall. Instead of covering hidden angels to the 7/11 blasts they were out to the Janta with some really thought provoking analysis – what was the astrological pronouncement, what was the numerological significance to the day and event. Not leaving behind was one news channel that broadcasted ‘blasts and the bollywood’ to make our day. Thankfully, there was no karan johar explaining the relation between his new movie to blasts.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Nazi Indians on the web

I'm quite new to this online networking thing that has become rave nowadays. i joined this site, orkut, as it has most of my friends online. the website got lotsa communities created by its members which you can join in and further network.

I was horribly surprised to see a 'Nazi Community for good of world' and to my embarrassment that stuffed with so many Indian members. I couldn't get the fact that how could Indians, whose cultural symbol was stolen and tampered by the white supremist ever become so sympathetic to their cause.

The list was full of indian dumbasses, actually dicks, who thought that i made them look cool to be on some anti-establishment site if they couldn't make it jihadi websape; like arabs and paki islamist and intellects. You can see their profiles; a set of losers wanting to do anything to get attention, hopelessly tryin to look like american teens.

I don't know why Indians are so good with their ignorance, how could you fall for such totalitarian and exlusivist political thought that teaches only hatred and tyrannical views against one community. Actually most of them have never done any good in the public life and have grouse about corrupt system in their surrounding, which they believe can be overran by such extreme political program.

I feel that everyone checking out such links and its members should definitely bash up their profile to make them realise what they are doing.